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Posts by category
- Category: Anxiety
- Diary of a Shame Attack (02/24/2013)
- Performance Anxiety and Shame (02/23/2012)
- Anxiety Symptoms, Mindfulness and the Enlargement of the Self (01/19/2012)
- Not Your Usual Anger Management Techniques (11/11/2011)
- The Fear of Change (11/05/2011)
- Self-Consciousness and Performance Anxiety (09/15/2011)
- Different Types of Depression (02/04/2011)
- Art and the Dread of Experience (02/01/2011)
- Existential Aloneness (01/05/2011)
- Insufficient Mind in Anxiety Attacks and Disorders (12/15/2010)
- How Fear of Disintegration Gives Rise to Anxiety Symptoms and Panic Attacks (12/12/2010)
- Hatred and Anger as Glue (11/04/2010)
- Category: Defense Mechanisms
- The Risks of Joy (10/12/2015)
- The Evacuation of Pain (08/20/2014)
- The Self-Serving Lie (08/11/2014)
- The Shame in Mental Illness (02/16/2014)
- Respecting Your Personal Limitations (07/14/2013)
- Self-Loathing (04/20/2013)
- Lying to Our Clients (04/12/2013)
- Accentuating the Positive (12/15/2012)
- Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Video #4: Resistance (10/25/2012)
- Snobbery and Pretentiousness (10/04/2012)
- Projecting and the Law of False Attribution (08/14/2012)
- ‘Hard’ and ‘Soft’ as Character Traits (06/12/2012)
- Vacation Breaks in Psychotherapy and Defenses Against Need (03/14/2012)
- Emotional Dependency in Psychotherapy (03/01/2012)
- Autism Symptoms Get a Second Look (01/25/2012)
- Defense Mechanisms VII: Reaction Formation (Not to be Confused with Hypocrisy) (01/08/2012)
- Depression Symptoms and the Role of Rage (01/01/2012)
- Attachment Theory and the Tenacity of Defense Mechanisms (12/15/2011)
- Defense Mechanisms VI: Repression (and Resistance) (10/29/2011)
- Idealizing Your Baby (09/20/2011)
- The Shame-Based Divorce (08/31/2011)
- Of Puppies and Parenting (08/10/2011)
- A Hiking Meditation (06/17/2011)
- Why Empathy Fails (06/14/2011)
- Defense Mechanisms V: Idealization (06/07/2011)
- Defense Mechanisms IV: “Thinking” (06/03/2011)
- Defense Mechanisms III: Further Uses for Projection (05/30/2011)
- Defense Mechanisms II: Denial (05/19/2011)
- Defense Mechanisms I: Splitting (05/06/2011)
- The Role of Helplessness in PTSD Symptoms and Other Disorders (04/23/2011)
- Psychological Obstacles to Grief and the Grieving Process (04/20/2011)
- The Misuses of Sexual Excitement (03/15/2011)
- Charlie Sheen’s Rant and the Power of Destructive Narcissism (02/25/2011)
- How to Tell if You’re Projecting (02/23/2011)
- The Tenacity of Defenses (02/19/2011)
- Defenses Against Shame (01/29/2011)
- Breathe More, Think Less (10/22/2010)
- Your Emotional Playlist (10/18/2010)
- The Pot Calling the Kettle Black (10/06/2010)
- Psychological Defensiveness and Self-Deception (10/01/2010)
- Category: Depression and Bipolar Disorder
- Seasonal Affective Disorder and the Healing Power of Sunlight (11/08/2014)
- Benzodiazepines and Dementia (10/05/2014)
- Some Thoughts About Mania (07/21/2013)
- Time Management Problems (04/26/2013)
- Listening to Pain (07/11/2012)
- ADHD Symptoms Revisited (02/08/2012)
- Countertransference Issues in Treating Depression (11/15/2011)
- Good and Bad Reasons to Take an Antidepressant (07/12/2011)
- The Mostly-Bad Mother (06/28/2011)
- Narcissistic Rage and the Sense of Entitlement (04/27/2011)
- The Rise of Bipolar Disorder Symptoms and Treatment (04/06/2011)
- “Psychiatric Meds Are Like Insulin for Diabetes” (Big Lie #3) (03/25/2011)
- “Psychiatric Medications Have Led to Dramatic Improvements in Mental Health Outcomes” (Big Lie No. 2) (03/22/2011)
- “You Have a Chemical Imbalance in Your Brain” (Big Lie No. 1) (03/19/2011)
- Merger Fantasies in Psychotherapy (01/19/2011)
- Psychotherapy Issues Arising from Bipolar Disorder Symptoms (12/26/2010)
- What ’10 Signs of Depression in Men’ Won’t Tell You (12/08/2010)
- The Rebelliousness of My Inner “Brat†(11/01/2010)
- Hopeless Problems, Perfect Answers in Bipolar Disorder (10/31/2010)
- Category: Destinations
- What Do We Owe to Those Who Are Dying? (07/15/2011)
- Self-Love and the Sense of Well-Being (07/07/2011)
- The Interpretation of a Dream (07/03/2011)
- Pride and the Healing of Shame (05/10/2011)
- Can’t or Won’t? (03/01/2011)
- The Pleasures of Solitude (01/25/2011)
- Narcissism vs. Authentic Self-Esteem (01/17/2011)
- Relationship Advice You Won’t Find Elsewhere on the Internet (01/11/2011)
- Envy and Self-Sabotage (01/07/2011)
- The Art of the Apology (12/29/2010)
- Further Thoughts on the Lost Art of Conversation (12/24/2010)
- Grief and the Attitude of Gratitude (11/23/2010)
- Psychological Damage and Emotional Transformation (11/21/2010)
- Love in the Face of Hatred (11/12/2010)
- Hatred and Anger for Your Therapist (11/10/2010)
- The (Sometimes) Awful Truth (10/15/2010)
- Category: Detours
- The Mythical Therapist (07/25/2011)
- The Cycle of Crime and Punishment in Psychotherapy (02/16/2011)
- Emotional Dependency and Stealth Control (01/02/2011)
- Autism Symptoms in Other Disorders (12/16/2010)
- Unbearable Emotions and Feelings (11/30/2010)
- A Psychodynamic Perspective on Idealization (11/08/2010)
- Self-Hatred and Self-Criticism (10/29/2010)
- Your Plan for a Person (10/11/2010)
- Category: Envy and Jealousy
- The Fear of Seeming Narcissistic (03/14/2014)
- Envy for Your Children (06/11/2013)
- Envy and Competitiveness (09/23/2012)
- The Oedipus Complex in Divorce Situations (10/14/2011)
- Sigmund Freud and the Oedipus Complex (10/06/2011)
- Envy and Jealousy (01/22/2011)
- Celebrities — Why We Love and Hate Them (11/16/2010)
- Category: Love and Hatred
- Self-Pity (05/15/2013)
- The Difference Between Anger and Hatred (02/14/2013)
- What Hurts the Most (01/25/2013)
- Rage and Entitlement in Borderline Personality Disorder (12/02/2011)
- Ambivalence and the Perfect Answer (08/19/2011)
- Working with Borderline Personality Disorder (06/10/2011)
- The Hatred of Authority (05/24/2011)
- 60 Minutes and Greg Mortenson’s Fraud: The Power of Sentimentality (04/30/2011)
- Celebrity and Romantic Love: “Meaning” in the Modern World (02/09/2011)
- Love Junkies and Other Addicts (11/19/2010)
- What We Mean When We Use the Word ‘Love’ (11/14/2010)
- Mixed Emotions: Loving and Hating the Same Person (10/13/2010)
- Category: Points of Departure
- Hatred in Politics — New Article for The Atlantic (03/13/2013)
- Withdrawal of Post (11/17/2012)
- On the Receiving End of Borderline Rage (11/07/2012)
- New Discussion Forum and Site Changes (11/04/2012)
- Religion and Psychotherapy (11/02/2012)
- From Heartbreak to Redemption (10/28/2012)
- Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly” and the Anti-Shame Zeitgeist (10/16/2012)
- Radio Interview About My New Book (08/20/2012)
- Feeding the Therapist (08/06/2012)
- A Call for Participants (06/24/2012)
- Second Radio Interview (03/26/2012)
- A Request for Input (03/20/2012)
- Shame and How It Produces Envy (02/16/2012)
- Attachment Theory and the Healing Psychotherapy Relationship (12/21/2011)
- When Babies Aren’t Idealized (09/28/2011)
- New YouTube Channel (08/28/2011)
- The Development of Mind and Meaning (Part I) (08/25/2011)
- The Biological Roots of Basic Shame (08/05/2011)
- The Question of Sliding Scale Payment in Psychodynamic Therapy (07/19/2011)
- Freud’s Theory of the Id, Ego and Superego: Lost in Translation (06/21/2011)
- On Everyday Narcissism (04/15/2011)
- Do You Want to Be a ‘Good’ Person? (03/29/2011)
- GUIDELINES FOR SUBMITTING COMMENTS (11/01/2010)
- Winners and Losers (10/25/2010)
- Separation and Merger (10/20/2010)
- Basic Shame, Toxic Shame (10/08/2010)
- About Neediness (09/30/2010)
- About the Author (09/21/2010)
- About this Website (09/21/2010)
- Contact (09/20/2010)
- About Narcissistic Personality Disorder (08/31/2010)
- About Bipolar Disorder (08/31/2010)
- About Autism (08/31/2010)
- Media (08/26/2010)
- Videos (08/22/2010)
- Category: Relationship Issues
- My Idea of Friendship (10/29/2014)
- Codependency Issues in Marriage (08/03/2013)
- Outgrowing Your Parents (03/12/2013)
- How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions (12/29/2012)
- Giving to Get (11/25/2012)
- The Vindictive Narcissist (08/29/2012)
- Mothballing Your Parents (04/15/2012)
- ‘Butterfly’s Child’ by Angela-Davis Gardner: A Review (04/10/2012)
- Why I’m a Therapist (04/03/2012)
- The Narcissistic Mother (03/20/2012)
- The Toilet Function of Friendship (and Other Relationships) (12/21/2010)
- Compassion, Altruism and the True Spirit of Generosity (12/06/2010)
- ‘Avatar’, Toxic Shame and Avoidance of Authentic Relationships (12/03/2010)
- Category: Rules of the Road
- Ethical Considerations Involved in Accepting Health Insurance (08/01/2011)
- The Difference Between Shame and Guilt (05/14/2011)
- Empathy vs Sympathy in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (04/01/2011)
- Why Most People Don’t Really Change (10/04/2010)
- Category: Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage
- On Success and Having Arrived (12/21/2013)
- Shyness and Self-Hatred (12/09/2012)
- The Client Who Wants to Remain Invisible (09/28/2012)
- The Invisible Child (09/19/2012)
- What I Mean When I Use the Word Shame (07/22/2012)
- Attachment Theory and the Origins of Shame (12/10/2011)
- Precocity and Impatience (10/21/2011)
- Lessons from Amy Chua, the Tiger Mother (03/11/2011)
- Coping with that Savage Inner Voice (03/07/2011)
- Category: Sexuality
- Keeping Secrets from Your Therapist (01/20/2013)
- Why Sex Matters (01/06/2013)
- Category: Shame/Narcissism
- Why We Feel Shame Around the Holidays (12/13/2018)
- Shame for the Person You Used to Be (03/24/2016)
- Snow White at the Dwarf Colony (11/18/2015)
- U.K. Edition of The Narcissist You Know (11/12/2015)
- New York Times Book Review! (09/22/2015)
- On Narcissistic Self-Promotion (02/15/2015)
- Triggered by Shame (01/18/2015)
- On Pessimism (11/14/2013)
- Another Everyday Narcissist — Me (10/15/2013)
- The Everyday Narcissist Revisited (09/10/2013)
- Cinderella: A Tale of Narcissism and Self-Harm (05/23/2013)
- The Narcissistic Mother Revisited (05/06/2013)
- Why Free Association is So Difficult (02/09/2013)
- Shame and Indifference in the Hookup Era (01/14/2013)
- Cringing Shame Memories (10/20/2012)
- Contempt as a Defense (Mine) (05/02/2012)
- Anders Breivik, You and Me: What We Have in Common (04/26/2012)
- Shame Trading (04/22/2012)
- Narcissistic Rage and the Failure of Empathy: ‘Citizen Kane’ (01/11/2012)
- When Is It Appropriate to Feel Shame? (04/10/2011)
- The Fallacies of Psychological Diagnosis (02/13/2011)
- A Portrait of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in ‘The Social Network’ (2010) (01/14/2011)
- Narcissistic Behavior and the Lost Art of Conversation (11/28/2010)
- Category: Social Behavior
- The Up-Regulation of Joy (09/03/2014)
- Belonging (07/11/2014)
- Should Psychotherapy Be a Judgment-Free Zone? (08/16/2013)
- Maternal vs Paternal Function: Is There a Difference? (05/31/2013)
- How Feelings of Helplessness May Give Rise to Destructive Violence (03/29/2013)
- Heroes, Role Models and Idols (03/24/2013)
- Who Are Your Heroes and Why? (03/16/2013)
- When is Contempt a Legitimate Response? (05/28/2012)
- It Takes Time (05/22/2012)
- Empathy for the Psychopath (05/14/2012)
- Holiday Advice from the Pathological Optimist (11/22/2011)
- Hatred in Politics (10/27/2010)
- Category: Society and Culture
- Appearing in the “Newspaper of Record” (12/20/2014)
- This Therapist Needs Your Help (10/11/2012)
- Three Books about the Chemical Imbalance Theory of Mental Illness (06/25/2011)
- Category: START HERE (About)
- Author Photo (09/29/2010)
- The First Step (09/28/2010)
- Choosing a Therapist with a Psychodynamic Perspective (09/25/2010)
- Category: The Medicalization of Mental Health
- Antisocial Personality Disorder: The Sociopath Next Door (09/02/2013)
- Childhood ADHD: Over-Diagnosed or Under-Treated? (04/15/2013)
- ADHD Symptoms and Their Treatment: Drugs Don’t Work (01/30/2012)
- Will Power, Self Control and Self Discipline (11/27/2011)
- Category: The Psychotherapy Relationship
- Recovering from Shame (05/26/2020)
- Australia-New Zealand edition of TNYK (12/01/2015)
- The Father’s Gaze (11/20/2015)
- Amazon Reviews! (09/25/2015)
- The Narcissist You Know — Publication date September 22, 2015 (07/28/2015)
- The Ones Who Let Go (05/11/2015)
- Second Thoughts on Sliding Scale Payment (12/06/2014)
- The Role of Intuition (ESP?) in Psychotherapy (11/17/2014)
- Disappearing Comments (10/17/2014)
- Los Angeles Radio Interview (08/31/2014)
- A Request for Input (08/26/2014)
- Surfacing (06/13/2014)
- Intolerance and Conformity (01/30/2014)
- Constructing the Psychotherapy Narrative (12/13/2013)
- On Optimism (11/30/2013)
- Joy in the Psychotherapy Relationship (09/23/2013)
- The Controlling Client (02/01/2013)
- The Healing Power of Humor in Psychotherapy (12/01/2012)
- Psychological Fairy Tales (11/19/2012)
- Bearing Witness and Being Seen (07/01/2012)
- When the Therapist Falls Asleep During Session (05/09/2012)
- Video #3 – “The Transference Begins” (04/19/2012)
- Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Video No. 2: The Early Weeks (04/10/2012)
- New Video Series on Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (03/30/2012)
- Transference: Uses and Abuses (03/27/2012)
- Online Therapy (09/21/2010)
- Category: Unbearable Emotion
- Early Memories (04/03/2013)
- From Intellectualization to Depersonalization: A Spectrum (11/13/2012)