â€œBeing a victim is more palatable than having to recognize the intrinsic contradictions of one’s own governing philosophy.â€ — Tom Clancy, The Hunt for Red October “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.â€ — John Gardner â€œHe did not know… Continue reading Self-Pity
Category: Love and Hatred
The Difference Between Anger and Hatred
In preparation for my appearance later today on Sandy Weiner’s BlogTalkRadio program Courageous Conversations, I’ve been thinking about anger and hatred. Sandy and I will be discussing how to cope with the eruption of hatred in our intimate relationships and I needed to clarify how hatred differs from anger. We can distinguish between anger and… Continue reading The Difference Between Anger and Hatred
What Hurts the Most
I don’t usually relate to the trending topics on Twitter — often about celebrities I don’t know and TV shows I’ve never watched — but earlier this week I noticed that #WhatHurtstheMost was a popular hashtag for the day. Out of curiousity, I searched the term on Twitter and read through a hundred or so… Continue reading What Hurts the Most
Rage and Entitlement in Borderline Personality Disorder
In working with people who suffer from borderline personality disorder, you may often feel deeply hostile toward your clients; you need to use that feeling to understand their murderous rage, their inability to tolerate frustrate and their desire to take over and possess you.
Ambivalence and the Perfect Answer
Ambivalence in both senses of the word — conflicting emotions for the same person, and difficulty in choosing between different options — both reflect idealized expectations and an underlying perfectionism.