The Shame-Based Divorce
When couples who have idealized one another and their marriage divorce, they often engage in a battle about who is the “winner” and who the “loser” who must carry all the shame.
The Development of Mind and Meaning (Part I)
In early infantile development, the baby projects unbearable experience into its caretakers who, by responding appropriately to what is needed, function as a kind of external container for that experience, gradually helping the infant to develop a mind of its own.
Ambivalence and the Perfect Answer
Ambivalence in both senses of the word — conflicting emotions for the same person, and difficulty in choosing between different options — both reflect idealized expectations and an underlying perfectionism.
Of Puppies and Parenting
A degree of parental hostility and resentment toward infants is normal though not usually acknowledged. This article looks at ways we may unconsciously give voice to those feelings, or split them off and direct them elsewhere.
The Biological Roots of Basic Shame
Using some of Freud’s more speculative ideas as a starting point, this article discusses the biological roots of shame as the ‘felt knowledge” that one’s development has gone seriously awry.