[THIS POST IS A BIT DIFFERENT FROM MY USUAL STYLE; IT’S ADAPTED FROM SOME IDEAS I’M EXPLORING IN MY NEW BOOK ABOUT NARCISSISM] At the beginning of our first session I ask MacKenzie, a 32-year-old single woman, what prompted her to seek treatment. Although she mentions occasional depression and anxiety, she seems most focused on […]
Constructing the Psychotherapy Narrative Read More »
It is with great pleasure that I announce the release of my first work of fiction in over 30 years. While it lacks the imprimatur of a mainstream publisher, I’m nonetheless proud. This re-telling of the classic fairy tale asks the following question: How would Cinderella actually have turned out if she’d grown up surrounded
Cinderella: A Tale of Narcissism and Self-Harm Read More »
I’ve written about narcissistic mothers in two earlier posts, one about my own (mostly bad) mother, and another that differentiates healthy parental pride from narcissistic over-involvement. In particular, I’ve talked about the struggle to find the goodness in mothers who largely failed their children. I focus on this issue not only because it comes up
The Narcissistic Mother Revisited Read More »
Because I write so much about the topic of shame on my website, I’m often asked if I’m familiar with the work of Brené Brown, the noted shame researcher from the University of Houston. I’ve known about Dr. Brown for quite some time now and have watched both of her TED Talk videos several times,
Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly” and the Anti-Shame Zeitgeist Read More »
Several readers responding to my recent post about a client who felt invisible have asked me to discuss the opposite experience — the person who fears being seen and desperately wants to remain invisible. It’s a very different issue, with roots in profound shame.
The Client Who Wants to Remain Invisible Read More »
In recent weeks, both within my practice and through emails from site visitors (all women), I’ve heard about several men who have tried to destroy the reputation of their ex-wives with a ruthless and quite thorough assault on their public characters. These men have told lies to friends and family members, attempted to blackmail their
The Vindictive Narcissist Read More »
When an anti-Islamic loner explodes a bomb outside a government building, killing eight people, then travels to a nearby island where he guns down 69 more, we naturally view that man as a dangerous lunatic. His paranoid tirades against multi-culturalism and “Eurabia”, along with his grandiose view of himself as crusading member of the fictional
Anders Breivik, You and Me: What We Have in Common Read More »
In a very early post on this site, I described people who view the world in terms of winners and losers, where one person will shore up his own self-image by triumphing over someone else, usually by demonstrating that he’s more successful, better-looking, wealthier, more popular, etc. Feelings of contempt for the “loser” usually go
When artists use their medium as an attempt to escape from internal “ugliness”, performance anxiety may reflect the fear of being exposed, their true damaged self becoming visible to the audience.
Performance Anxiety and Shame Read More »
The upcoming revision to the APA’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual will purportedly eliminate Asperger’s Syndrome as a diagnosis, once again calling into question the scientific precision and validity of psychological diagnosis.
Autism Symptoms Get a Second Look Read More »