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After Psychotherapy

Insights from 30+ years in the profession

Category: Defense Mechanisms

The most prominent psychological defense mechanisms, including repression, denial, idealization, splitting and projection. This is the category for you.

The Shame-Based Divorce

When couples who have idealized one another and their marriage divorce, they often engage in a battle about who is the “winner” and who the “loser” who must carry all the shame.

Published August 31, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Relationship Issues, Shame/Narcissism

Of Puppies and Parenting

A degree of parental hostility and resentment toward infants is normal though not usually acknowledged. This article looks at ways we may unconsciously give voice to those feelings, or split them off and direct them elsewhere.

Published August 10, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Love and Hatred, Points of Departure, Relationship Issues

A Hiking Meditation

Personal observations on the actual moment when a defensive maneuver occurs, in order to evade pain, as well some reflections on the nature and value of the spiritual experience.

Published June 17, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Destinations, Unbearable Emotion

Why Empathy Fails

In order to empathize with another person, you have to recognize that he or she actually exists apart from and without specific reference to you. Our ability to tolerate separateness largely determines how well we are able to empathize with others.

Published June 14, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Points of Departure, The Psychotherapy Relationship, Unbearable Emotion

Defense Mechanisms V: Idealization

Idealization reflects a drive to escape from an internal experience felt to be unbearable and to connect with something perfect. This defense mechanism may take aim at another person, an actual experience or one’s own self.

Published June 7, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Depression and Bipolar Disorder, Detours, Shame/Narcissism

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