[PLEASE NOTE THAT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DE-TRANSITIONED OR DESISTED, OR WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH GENDER IDENTITY ISSUES, I WORK ON A SLIDING SCALE AND WILL MAKE MY FEE AFFORDABLE TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS MY HELP.]
As an online psychologist, I work exclusively by Skype and other video conferencing platforms. Since many prospective clients are in time zones different from mine (Mountain Standard Time), I do my best to accommodate different schedules, though my evening hours are very limited. I do not work by phone. In my experience, the visual contact made possible by video is necessary for online therapy to succeed and allows us both to get a “feel” for one another.
If you’re considering me as an online psychologist, I suggest you read a number of the posts in the category entitled The Psychotherapy Relationship, in the menu to be found at the right of this page. They’ll give you a fairly clear idea about who I am and how I work. As an alternative, you might try reading one of my non-fiction books, available on Amazon here and here, or watch some of the videos on my YouTube channel. I’d also like to say a few additional words concerning the kind of work I DO NOT do and what I’m not good at, to avoid any misunderstanding.
Though you’re free to consult with me for as few or as many sessions as you like, I honestly believe that several weeks or even a few months is too little time for us to make any real difference in how you’re feeling and the ways you suffer. This is not to say that all short-term treatments are ineffective; practitioners of cognitive-behavioral therapy, for example, can teach you their methods and techniques in a matter of weeks. I’m not a behaviorist, however; I’m a psychodynamic psychotherapist, and the kind of change I work for with my clients takes a long time.
For the most part, I don’t give advice. My own therapist once told me that, even if he were to give me his opinion about what I ought to do, I’d then have to decide for myself whether to follow that advice — i.e., I’d still have to think for myself. I also feel that giving a client advice only encourages the wrong kind of dependency. What I will do is listen carefully and try to tell you what I hear you saying that you might not have heard for yourself — the unconscious part of your communication. I was trained as a psychoanalyst: listening for and interpreting unconscious material lies at the heart of the online therapy work I do.
Although I sometimes talk about myself and my own issues on this website, I will rarely talk about myself during your sessions. As far as I’m concerned, it’s your time and your money: those 50-minutes should be all about you. For that reason, if you ask me personal questions, I’ll usually find a polite way not to answer and redirect the attention back to you. On the other hand, I will sometimes talk about what goes on between you and me as a kind of microcosm of your emotional issues. While I believe that the client-psychotherapist relationship is unique, unlike any other relationship you’ll ever have, I also know that people bring their characteristic modes of relating into that relationship; understanding the ways you interact and behave in therapy often provides insight into your “outside” relationships as well.
I don’t do marital counseling or work with couples. Earlier in my career, I used to see children, couples and families, but I soon realized my strength lies in long-term, in-depth work of a psychodynamic nature. I don’t treat particular symptoms, nor will I focus exclusively on one aspect of your issues. You’re a complex person, and we can’t isolate parts of you from that whole if we’re truly going to understand your pain. If I’m doing my job well, you’ll find that I often address something completely different from what you expected. This doesn’t mean I’m not listening! But if you’re looking for short-term, issues-oriented therapy that focuses on immediate results, I am not the online psychologist for you.
One final note: Since the publication of The Narcissist You Know, I’m often contacted for therapy by people who are married to or romantically involved with someone they identify as a narcissist; or perhaps it might be a child or member of their family. They want my help in learning how to understand and deal with this person. In my experience, this kind of therapy is rarely effective. Advice for how to cope with an extreme narcissist in your life can be found in my books, but it’s not a useful subject for individual psychotherapy.
About My Fee
I currently offer two different fee arrangements. For a one-time online therapy consultation, or for occasional sessions that do not occur on a regular basis, I charge $250. These sessions do not involve an ongoing commitment and may be cancelled with a full 24 hours’ notice. If you cancel the same day of your scheduled session, however, or less than 24 hours in advance, you must still pay for it.
I also offer a $175 per session rate with a no-cancellation policy. In other words, you commit to paying for your regularly scheduled sessions even if you don’t use them; I commit to holding your weekly session times exclusively for you. If you give me notice of a future scheduling conflict, I will always offer you an alternative time for us to meet during that same week, but even if we’re unable to find another mutually convenient time, you agree to pay for your session. If you take vacation during a period when I am at work, you agree to pay for the sessions you miss. If you miss sessions due to illness, you agree to pay for them. When I miss a session or take vacation weeks, I of course do not charge you.
I understand that some people object to a no-cancellation policy, and that is why I offer this two-tier system for online therapy sessions. For those people, the $400 rate is available.
Because my new clients will most likely be out of my jurisdiction and I will have no legal recourse for non-payment, all sessions must be paid for in advance via PayPal or Venmo. If you see yourself as struggling with the kind of emotional volatility and unstable relationships that are a part of borderline personality disorder, or if you’re currently cutting yourself or engaged in other self-injuring behavior of a serious nature, I’d most likely need to see you more than once a week, at least until that behavior has stabilized. In my experience, working once a week when someone is suffering so deeply only sets the work up for failure.
I am offering my services to you as “psychoanalysis,” partly because I’m a graduate analyst but more because psychoanalysis is not a regulated profession in most states and we won’t have to deal with the gray area of licensing and jurisdiction.
For more information or to ask any further questions you may have, please feel free to write to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Please do not look up my phone number and try to contact me that way. If you’re interested in scheduling a session, please complete the following two forms and send them to me at the preceding email address. Once I have received them, I’ll contact you about scheduling a session.
New Client Questionnaire