Category Archives: Love and Hatred


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“Being a victim is more palatable than having to recognize the intrinsic contradictions of one’s own governing philosophy.” — Tom Clancy, The Hunt for Red October “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives … Continue reading

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The Difference Between Anger and Hatred

In preparation for my appearance later today on Sandy Weiner’s BlogTalkRadio program Courageous Conversations, I’ve been thinking about anger and hatred. Sandy and I will be discussing how to cope with the eruption of hatred in our intimate relationships and … Continue reading

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What Hurts the Most

I don’t usually relate to the trending topics on Twitter — often about celebrities I don’t know and TV shows I’ve never watched — but earlier this week I noticed that #WhatHurtstheMost was a popular hashtag for the day. Out … Continue reading

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Rage and Entitlement in Borderline Personality Disorder

In working with people who suffer from borderline personality disorder, you may often feel deeply hostile toward your clients; you need to use that feeling to understand their murderous rage, their inability to tolerate frustrate and their desire to take over and possess you. Continue reading

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Ambivalence and the Perfect Answer

Ambivalence in both senses of the word — conflicting emotions for the same person, and difficulty in choosing between different options — both reflect idealized expectations and an underlying perfectionism. Continue reading

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