Reaction formation, like all defense mechanisms, is an unconscious process. People with conscious but secret desires they publicly denounce in others are not resorting to reaction formation; they are hypocrites.
Defense Mechanisms VII: Reaction Formation (Not to be Confused with Hypocrisy) Read More »
Some thoughts about having realistic expectations for and placing limits upon holiday togetherness with your family.
Holiday Advice from the Pathological Optimist Read More »
While rebellion against established authority often leads to progress and positive change, legitimate authority exerted with concern has its value. Some people can’t tolerate the expression of authority in any form, however, and live in constant rebellion against it.
The Hatred of Authority Read More »
While people generally use the words ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ interchangeably, they actually refer to different experiences. Shame concerns painful feelings about oneself; guilt relates to the hurt or harm one may have caused somebody else and depends upon the ability to empathize. Guilt and shame often occur together.
The Difference Between Shame and Guilt Read More »
Greg Mortenson’s fraud upon the American public, recently exposed by Steve Kroft on ’60 Minutes’, catered to our weakness for a sentimental view of the world, with an all-white hero whose saintly deeds evoked a misty-eyed response that made us reach for our checkbooks.
60 Minutes and Greg Mortenson’s Fraud: The Power of Sentimentality Read More »
A discussion of the ubiquitous experience of shame in *civilized* cultures and why it is sometimes appropriate to feel shamed.
When Is It Appropriate to Feel Shame? Read More »
What we consider “moral behavior” can be motivated by religious beliefs, an inherited set of values, empathy and enlightened self-interest. The appearance of extreme virtue may mask highly “immoral” and destructive feelings through the process of splitting and projection.
Do You Want to Be a ‘Good’ Person? Read More »
A few guidelines, based on the author’s personal experience, for how to tender a genuine apology. This includes accepting full responsibility, along with possibly lasting guilt and regret.
The Art of the Apology Read More »
Conversations with strangers in the context of a common interest, discussing a shared passion, can feel more intimate than another dinner out, listening to an old friend complain about her latest boyfriend.
Further Thoughts on the Lost Art of Conversation Read More »