Can’t or Won’t?
Psychologically speaking, does everyone *always* do the best he or she can?
The Psychotherapy Relationship
The Cycle of Crime and Punishment in Psychotherapy
A discussion of the psychological cycle of crime and punishment in people who never seem to learn from their experience or grow in psychotherapy.
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The Pleasures of Solitude
Pleasure in solitude — the enjoyment of one’s own company — is one of the compensations for the existential loneliness of the human condition.
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Merger Fantasies in Psychotherapy
Bipolar and borderline clients who feel hopeless about their capacity for meaningful change often idealize their therapists and unconsciously try to merge with them; this fantasy of merger represents an escape from the damaged self into an alternative ideal self embodied by the therapist, a sort of personal growth by annexation.
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Existential Aloneness
Growth and psychological transformation stir up existential anxieties about what it means to be alone with personal responsibility; they also make us aware of the passage of time and the inevitability of death.
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Emotional Dependency and Stealth Control
Behind the apparent helplessness of people who suffer from extreme emotional dependency often lies a a secret and unacknowledged fantasy of controlling everybody around them and coercing them to adopt the role of caretakers.
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Grief and the Attitude of Gratitude
The ability to feel profound grief and deep gratitude are the hallmarks of mental health.
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Psychological Damage and Emotional Transformation
This article discusses the kind of psychological growth that’s actually possible, instead of the idealized fantasies of the people we might become.
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Love in the Face of Hatred
Love in the face of hatred is what good parents give to their children, and what therapists in some way must feel for their most troubled patients.
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Hatred and Anger for Your Therapist
It’s the job of a therapist to tell clients about truths they’ve been avoiding; because this stirs up pain and discomfort, they sometimes react with anger and even hatred.
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