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After Psychotherapy

Insights from 30+ years in the profession

Category: Unbearable Emotion

Why Empathy Fails

In order to empathize with another person, you have to recognize that he or she actually exists apart from and without specific reference to you. Our ability to tolerate separateness largely determines how well we are able to empathize with others.

Published June 14, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Points of Departure, The Psychotherapy Relationship, Unbearable Emotion

Defense Mechanisms IV: “Thinking”

The precocious development of verbal thought can function as a defense against unbearable emotional chaos; in later life, this kind of “thinking” often takes on a life of its own, can feel persecutory and underlies problems with insomnia.

Published June 3, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Detours, Unbearable Emotion

Defense Mechanisms II: Denial

Like all defense mechanisms, denial has its normal and constructive uses: by denying the awareness of unavoidable death, for instance, we’re able to continue with our daily lives.

Published May 19, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Rules of the Road, The Psychotherapy Relationship, Unbearable Emotion

Pride and the Healing of Shame

The healing of shame does not mean “triumphing” over it, but rather learning to bear that shame and not respond defensively to it, thereby earning feelings of pride and self-respect.

Published May 10, 2011
Categorized as Destinations, Relationship Issues, Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage, Shame/Narcissism, Unbearable Emotion

The Role of Helplessness in PTSD Symptoms and Other Disorders

The experience of helplessness in the face of trauma plays a central role in post traumatic stress disorder and the development of ptsd symptoms, but also has an impact on the genesis of other psychological disorders and maladaptive character traits.

Published April 23, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Detours, Unbearable Emotion

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