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After Psychotherapy

Insights from 30+ years in the profession

Category: Shame/Narcissism

The Oedipus Complex in Divorce Situations

In toxic divorce situations where a vengeful mother tries to turn her son against the boy’s father, it has the lethal effect of confirming his Oedipal fantasies, with lasting damage to the boy’s sense of self and his respect for authority.

Published October 14, 2011
Categorized as Envy and Jealousy, Shame/Narcissism Tagged id ego superego, narcissistic behavior, Oedipus complex, Shame

Idealizing Your Baby

Idealizing their baby helps parents cope with the difficulties and deprivations of parenting; more importantly, it conveys a sense of its own “beauty” to the infant, planting the seeds from which authentic self-esteem will later develop.

Published September 20, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage, Shame/Narcissism

Self-Consciousness and Performance Anxiety

Extreme self-conscious and performance anxiety (or stage fright) involve the projection of your internal critic into an external audience of observers, each one of them as critical as you are.

Published September 15, 2011
Categorized as Anxiety, Defense Mechanisms, Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage, Shame/Narcissism

The Shame-Based Divorce

When couples who have idealized one another and their marriage divorce, they often engage in a battle about who is the “winner” and who the “loser” who must carry all the shame.

Published August 31, 2011
Categorized as Defense Mechanisms, Relationship Issues, Shame/Narcissism

The Biological Roots of Basic Shame

Using some of Freud’s more speculative ideas as a starting point, this article discusses the biological roots of shame as the ‘felt knowledge” that one’s development has gone seriously awry.

Published August 5, 2011
Categorized as Points of Departure, Shame/Narcissism

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