In toxic divorce situations where a vengeful mother tries to turn her son against the boy’s father, it has the lethal effect of confirming his Oedipal fantasies, with lasting damage to the boy’s sense of self and his respect for authority.
The Oedipus Complex in Divorce Situations Read More »
Idealizing their baby helps parents cope with the difficulties and deprivations of parenting; more importantly, it conveys a sense of its own “beauty” to the infant, planting the seeds from which authentic self-esteem will later develop.
Idealizing Your Baby Read More »
Extreme self-conscious and performance anxiety (or stage fright) involve the projection of your internal critic into an external audience of observers, each one of them as critical as you are.
Self-Consciousness and Performance Anxiety Read More »
When couples who have idealized one another and their marriage divorce, they often engage in a battle about who is the “winner” and who the “loser” who must carry all the shame.
The Shame-Based Divorce Read More »
Using some of Freud’s more speculative ideas as a starting point, this article discusses the biological roots of shame as the ‘felt knowledge” that one’s development has gone seriously awry.
The Biological Roots of Basic Shame Read More »
Good things about the superego, and how it came to have a bad rap.
Freud’s Theory of the Id, Ego and Superego: Lost in Translation Read More »
Idealization reflects a drive to escape from an internal experience felt to be unbearable and to connect with something perfect. This defense mechanism may take aim at another person, an actual experience or one’s own self.
Defense Mechanisms V: Idealization Read More »
While people generally use the words ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ interchangeably, they actually refer to different experiences. Shame concerns painful feelings about oneself; guilt relates to the hurt or harm one may have caused somebody else and depends upon the ability to empathize. Guilt and shame often occur together.
The Difference Between Shame and Guilt Read More »
The healing of shame does not mean “triumphing” over it, but rather learning to bear that shame and not respond defensively to it, thereby earning feelings of pride and self-respect.
Pride and the Healing of Shame Read More »
A sense of entitlement, along with the expectation that life should be much easier and less frustrating than it actually is, often lies behind the expression of narcissistic rage, a feature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and other superficially discrete categories of diagnosis.
Narcissistic Rage and the Sense of Entitlement Read More »