Joe is the author and the owner of AfterPsychotherapy.com, one of the leading online mental health resources on the internet. Be sure to connect with him on Google+ and Linkedin.

Free Introductory Class: “Cultivating Humility”

Along with my teaching partner Marla Estes of Building Bridgers, I’ll be offering a free introductory course next week on the topic of humility, and how moving from absolute certainty to “I’m not sure” helps…

On Narcissistic Self-Promotion

A while back, I wrote a post worrying over the difference between pride and narcissistic self-display. I’ve since made peace with this issue and feel comfortable expressing my feelings of pride in accomplishment, sharing my…

Appearing in the “Newspaper of Record”

In April when visiting New York City, we had dinner one night with our friend Reed Birney, an actor whose scarily good performance in Harvey Fierstein’s Casa Valentina last season won him a Tony award…

One comment

    I watched the video and checked out Marla’s website and watched another video on her site as well. I can readily identify with the “Exhausted Majority”. I’ve felt the same way as you’ve expressed here that you enjoy in depth engagement with people who are well informed. I don’t meet them though and it is hard to find those conversations. The truth is I’ve felt this way for a long time and I have felt starved for more substance instead of people focusing on their personal problems. I’m also fed up with the incessant drive people have to change, fix, recruit, persuade and manipulate which is not about listening or getting to know people at all. Instead these are tactics of cults, except the “selective listening” which is used as a means of exploitation . I’ve studied cults for a long time. I’m fed up with meeting people who come across as having ulterior motives and self-serving agendas. Even if I don’t say what I’m thinking in my mind there’s always a question of why is this person saying this–what’s the backstory of their narrative and what’s their motivation, what’s the end game. It’s okay not to know and not to have an opinion about everything. In fact, it’s actually liberating.

    Like you I disagree with many people, but like you I keep my mouth shut, especially around people who feel the need to be “RIGHT” all of the time and no it doesn’t seem right. I’ve learned a great deal from people who operate this way as they’re not interested in viewpoint diversity. They want control, conformity and consensus–basically to get their way and the potential for destruction is huge. It’s tragic that people either don’t care or they’re too blind to see all of the damage they create and especially in their personal lives. The personal loss is great and fostering emotional safety, respect and genuine closeness is the negative consequence.

    “So is learning humility is that a tool for use in persuasion.” I agree that is quite the telling question. I’m also aware of Jonathan Haidt’s work. This sounds like a good course.

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