The Vindictive Narcissist

In recent weeks, both within my practice and through emails from site visitors (all women), I’ve heard about several men who have tried to destroy the reputation of their ex-wives with a ruthless and quite…

Anders Breivik, You and Me: What We Have in Common

When an anti-Islamic loner explodes a bomb outside a government building, killing eight people, then travels to a nearby island where he guns down 69 more, we naturally view that man as a dangerous lunatic….

Shame Trading

In a very early post on this site, I described people who view the world in terms of winners and losers, where one person will shore up his own self-image by triumphing over someone else,…

Performance Anxiety and Shame

When artists use their medium as an attempt to escape from internal “ugliness”, performance anxiety may reflect the fear of being exposed, their true damaged self becoming visible to the audience.

The Oedipus Complex in Divorce Situations

In toxic divorce situations where a vengeful mother tries to turn her son against the boy’s father, it has the lethal effect of confirming his Oedipal fantasies, with lasting damage to the boy’s sense of self and his respect for authority.