Several readers responding to my recent post about a client who felt invisible have asked me to discuss the opposite experience — the person who fears being seen and desperately wants to remain invisible. It’s a very different issue, with roots in profound shame.
The Client Who Wants to Remain Invisible Read More »
I’ve always struggled with the term attachment, used in my profession to denote the relationship that is supposed to develop between mother and infant during the earliest months of life. I may be too concrete, but it makes me think of those poor monkeys in Harlow’s experiment, clinging to that cloth-covered metal skeleton; it seems
The Invisible Child Read More »
When artists use their medium as an attempt to escape from internal “ugliness”, performance anxiety may reflect the fear of being exposed, their true damaged self becoming visible to the audience.
Performance Anxiety and Shame Read More »
Envy is a normal human emotion; when coupled with a basic and profound sense of personal shame, it becomes toxic.
Shame and How It Produces Envy Read More »
Some thoughts about how to silence the savage inner critic so that you can learn something from your experience, rather than simply beating yourself up.
Coping with that Savage Inner Voice Read More »
A discussion of three underlying dynamics in clinical depression: unconscious rage, a drastically fragmented self and toxic levels of shame.
Different Types of Depression Read More »
Narcissism, blaming and contempt — the three core defenses against shame — are illustrated with clinical material from the author’s psychotherapy practice.
Defenses Against Shame Read More »
The movie ‘Avatar’ embodies a fantasy shared by many people that it’s possible to escape one’s earthly damaged self and become a superior being without defects.
‘Avatar’, Toxic Shame and Avoidance of Authentic Relationships Read More »