Joe is the author and the owner of, one of the leading online mental health resources on the internet. Be sure to connect with him on Google+ and Linkedin.

Hatred in Politics — New Article for The Atlantic

My most recent article for The Atlantic — this one about splitting and hatred in politics — went live this morning. You can find it here.

Withdrawal of Post

If you came to the site expecting to find my latest post about gratitude and scarcity, I’ve taken it down. I think it came across in a way I didn’t intend, as if I were…

On the Receiving End of Borderline Rage

I had an email from another therapist this week, asking whether I’d written anything for professionals who work with people who suffer from features of borderline personality disorder. She had recently been “fired” by one…


    Interesting discussion. What struck me most was the idea of our actual absolute potential as human beings and how we relate to this potential in ourselves. It is very complex. I see around me many people who really do achieve great things through great discipline and are so inspirational (the Olympics is a great example). Yet there is often times a component of self hate or a lack of compassion or love that is virtually absent in many people who achieve greatness. The great balance in my opinion is achieving something (big or small) but getting there with an awareness of the many set backs, honoring the journey which includes so much failure and loving ourselves through it. This is so hard to do when someone has a sense of basic shame. Also knowing as you said, we can never be perfect (whatever that is). Maybe this “perfection” is the absolute acknowledgement and love of our very imperfection…our humanness.

    I don’t know about “love” of imperfection, but I think the goal is to find the place where we can acknowledge our own shame and damage, take it in to account but still conduct our lives and behave in ways that lead to genuine self-esteem.

    Very interesting interview. I look forward to reading your book on defense mechanisms-I guess we will be able to order it on Amazon, in October.

    I listened to the interview and am looking forward to reading your book. I’m hooked already with your insights on idealism. Thank you!

    There’s an entire chapter on the subject of idealization and I’m hoping it will satisfy your interest. Thanks for listening.

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