Most people don’t change; they just become more the way they already are.
I must have said these words hundreds of times in my life — to clients, family and friends. While there are exceptions, most people find change difficult for several reasons. They don’t know themselves very well, to begin with. Few people have an accurate view of who they are and therefore don’t recognize the aspects of themselves that could use improvement. Most people want to believe they’re well-balanced and even exceptional in many ways: how many of your friends would describe themselves as creative, talented or intelligent? Do you know anyone who would say to you, I’m just average? We all want to think of ourselves as special and gifted.
Then there is the human propensity to explain one’s difficulties, short-comings and failures by blaming somebody else. Look around you at the people you know. The co-worker who’s careless and lazy but blames her poor evaluations on an exacting boss, or colleagues who have it out for her. The cousin who gets under your skin because in every story he tells, he paints himself as a victim. Have you ever known anyone who told you, “I got fired because I was doing a lousy job,” or “A lot of bad things have happened in my life because I make so many impulsive bad choices?” Few people are willing to accept that their own character traits and choices are the main determinants of the kind of life they lead.