I’m just about ready to deliver a draft of my book on defenses to the other members of my writer’s group; as part of the final revisions, I’ve been attempting to clarify my ideas about shame as they’re so central to the work I do; the text below is adapted from a chapter about defenses… Continue reading What I Mean When I Use the Word Shame
Category: Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage
Attachment Theory and the Origins of Shame
A discussion of Allan Schore’s video lecture on the neuro-psychology of attachment, and how failures of attunement between mother and child permanently alter the development of the infant’s brain.
Precocity and Impatience
We often think of precocity as a gift and associate it with genius; but for many people, when things come too easily for them early in their lives, they may feel impatient when truly challenged, unable to bear the frustration and face the hard work needed for success in any meaningful endeavor.
Idealizing Your Baby
Idealizing their baby helps parents cope with the difficulties and deprivations of parenting; more importantly, it conveys a sense of its own “beauty” to the infant, planting the seeds from which authentic self-esteem will later develop.
Self-Consciousness and Performance Anxiety
Extreme self-conscious and performance anxiety (or stage fright) involve the projection of your internal critic into an external audience of observers, each one of them as critical as you are.