Category Archives: Self-Esteem and Self-Sabotage

What I Mean When I Use the Word Shame

I’m just about ready to deliver a draft of my book on defenses to the other members of my writer’s group; as part of the final revisions, I’ve been attempting to clarify my ideas about shame as they’re so central … Continue reading

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Attachment Theory and the Origins of Shame

A discussion of Allan Schore’s video lecture on the neuro-psychology of attachment, and how failures of attunement between mother and child permanently alter the development of the infant’s brain. Continue reading

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Precocity and Impatience

We often think of precocity as a gift and associate it with genius; but for many people, when things come too easily for them early in their lives, they may feel impatient when truly challenged, unable to bear the frustration and face the hard work needed for success in any meaningful endeavor. Continue reading

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Idealizing Your Baby

Idealizing their baby helps parents cope with the difficulties and deprivations of parenting; more importantly, it conveys a sense of its own “beauty” to the infant, planting the seeds from which authentic self-esteem will later develop. Continue reading

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Self-Consciousness and Performance Anxiety

Extreme self-conscious and performance anxiety (or stage fright) involve the projection of your internal critic into an external audience of observers, each one of them as critical as you are. Continue reading

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